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- (A white card with "1st GRADE" appears; it then flashes to a young Dee Dee with one tooth smiling; it then cuts to a white card with "2nd GRADE", then to another picture of Dee Dee smiling, except with two teeth; Dee Dee's 3rd through 5th grade pictures are shown with her smile getting progressively wider)
- (Mom closes the photo album; it then shows the entire family sitting on the couch)
- Mom: Oh, those bring back so many memories...
- Dad: (tickling Mom's chin) Mm-hmm.
- Mom: Hey, when are school photos?
- (Dexter and Dee Dee's heads are seen on a yellow background; the former sad and the latter happy)
- Dexter and Dee Dee: Tomorrow.
- (A close-up of Mom's head is shown)
- Mom: Tomorrow?
- (Dexter and Dee Dee's heads are shown once more; Dexter frowns)
- Dexter and Dee Dee: Tomorrow.
- Dee Dee: I just love photo day. I always look so beautiful, but for Dexter, it's just a little bit different.
- (Zoom in on Dexter; a white card with "1st GRADE" appears; it then flashes to a young Dexter standing on a stool with his body facing to the right and his eye looking at the camera; a white card with "2nd GRADE" appears; it then flashes to Dexter holding his glasses while looking dismayed; a white card with "3rd GRADE" appears; it then flashes to Dexter facing to the left, his teeth showing and his eye, now with sclera, looking at the camera; it then flashes back to Dexter)
- Dexter: (voice breaking) It's true. It's true. It's true. I am a bad photo boy.
- (He jumps off the couch and runs away wailing with Mom, Dad, and Dee Dee watching despondently; it then lightning flashes to Dexter walking toward two large mirrors holding a brown and blue suit; he moves the blue suit over him, then the brown suit, then the blue suit again; he throws both suits away)
- Dexter: I'm just... ugly!
- (He breaks down crying in front of the mirror; after a few moments, he shakes his hand in anger)
- Dexter: Ugly!
- (He picks up both the blue and brown suits once more; he throws the blue suit at the left mirror and it breaks; he does the same thing to the right mirror with the brown suit; a mirror shard falls down with Dexter's reflection on it)
- Dexter: Ugly! Ugly!
- (As the last of the mirror shards fall, Dee Dee steps forward from the darkness, with a menacing grin on her face as she walks toward the camera)
- Dee Dee: Ugly!
- (It then cuts to Dexter crying; he turns around and sees Dee Dee standing behind him)
- Dee Dee: Hi, Dexter.
- (She looks around at the mess)
- Dee Dee: Ooh, what happened here?
- Dexter: I'm afraid I am not handsome enough for the school photo.
- Dee Dee: Dexter, you know you can't have-- um, uh-- you know you can't have, uh... (she leans down and points at her head) Dexter, what's inside here?
- Dexter: (annoyed) Brains.
- Dee Dee: Yeah, yeah, that's it -- brains. You can't have brains and be a model, too.
- (Dexter shows her a monochromatic photo of Albert Einstein wearing a pair of khaki pants)
- Dexter: But Einstein modeled his khakis, and he had brains.
- Dee Dee: Hmm... (she shows Dexter a monochrome photo of a studly young man in khaki pants) But Schmarky Schmark modeled his khakis, and he's a beefcake.
- Dexter: You are right. I am not a beefcake. I am just a cupcake.
- (Dee Dee giggles)
- Dexter: What is so funny?
- Dee Dee: It's just that I wouldn't say "cupcake".
- (She smirks)
- Dexter: Then what would you say?
- Dee Dee: I would say you're more like a... (shouting; Dexter jumps up shaking) strawberry shortcake!
- (Dexter looks at her big eyed, then looks down; Dee Dee frowns along with him)
- Dee Dee: Gee, Dexter, you're really hung up on this. I'm sorry.
- (She kneels down and opens her arms; Dexter walks toward her and she hugs him; she then lifts him over her head)
- Dee Dee: I've got an idea!
- (Wipe to Dee Dee's room; Dexter is sitting on Dee Dee's bed while she runs to the left)
- Dee Dee: I think it's over here.
- (She digs through her belongings; a white stuffed bear, a blue book, and a flower fly to the right; Dee Dee runs to the right)
- Dee Dee: Maybe it's over here.
- (Another blue book, a white dress on a hanger, and one of Dee Dee's ballet shoes fly to the left; it then zooms in on Dexter; Dee Dee peers over her bed)
- Dee Dee: (whispering) Psst! I found it.
- (She holds up an Eleventeen magazine, then shoots up from behind her bed, startling Dexter in the process)
- Dee Dee: It's a magazine!
- (She lands on the mattress, causing Dexter to flip over and land on his bottom)
- Dexter: A magazine, huh?
- (The front of the magazine is shown; a boy with a modest smile is on the cover; Dee Dee is on the right
- Dee Dee: Not just any magazine -- Eleventeen magazine!
- (Dexter leans in from the left)
- Dee Dee: This magazine has the dreamiest boys in the world.
- Dexter: You mean like Einstein and Professor Hawk?
- Dee Dee: Gee, I don't think so. But it has... (she opens the magazine to a man named Chad Princely) Woo. Chad Princely. (leaning in from the right) He's my favorite. His favorite color's blue, and he likes blonde, blue-eyed girls.
- Dexter: (leaning in from the left) My favorite color is blue.
- Dee Dee: Oh, Chad, marry me.
- (She kisses the magazine three times, the first in third-person and the other two in Dee Dee's POV)
- Dexter: (offscreen) What does he have that I don't?
- (Dee Dee pulls the magazine down, showing Dexter grinning confidently while sitting)
- Dee Dee: It's not that Chad has something that you don't. It's just-- just... his clothes. That's right, his clothes. All you need is a wardrobe makeover. (she jumps off her bed) And with my help, you'll look great.
- (A clothesline of robes slide in from the right and to the left; it then shows Dexter standing in front of a mirror wearing a red gingham-like shirt with blue pants, a green beanie, and black shoes with white soles)
- Dee Dee: Voila!
- (Dexter looks at himself in the mirror; he frowns)
- Dexter: It is just not me.
- Dee Dee: Ok, ok. Chin up, Dexter. It's just the wrong outfit. (she runs off to the left) Just wait right here.
- Dexter: It is not the clothes, Dee Dee. It is me.
- (He heads for the door; as he places his hand on the doorknob, Dexter looks at the Eleventeen magazine laying on the floor, then at Dee Dee, who is throwing out clothes from her closet; he quickly picks up the magazine, opens the door, then bolts out, slamming the door shut in the process)
- (Dee Dee slides her head out from inside the closet)
- Dee Dee: Dexter?
- (Wipe to Dexter in his laboratory; several pictures of handsome men from in the Eleventeen magazine are seen on a keyboard; a red beam appears from the top on the man with red hair; it then pans over to Dexter as he is typing)
- Dexter: With my newfound knowledge of attractive males and my technical achievements at my fingertips, (pull back to show Dexter with pictures of various boys and men moving around in different squares) I will be the most handsome boy in the history of school photos!
- (A ding is heard; Dexter laughs sinisterly)
- Dexter: Computer, lower the test transformer module.
- (The test module, appearing as a large dome with two tubes connected to it slides down; it then lands on Dexter's head and starts spinning; the view then pulls back to show Dexter's body spinning as the test module blows out gray puffs of smoke that gather on the screen; they clear to show a screen that reads "transformation complete"; a silhouette of Dexter, who now has a handsome head, slides in from the bottom)
- Dexter: It worked. Heh-heh. It worked!
- (He laughs once more; an outside of Dexter's hosue is shown; two lightning bolts appear, then it cuts to Huber Elementary; inside the hall, one student is at his locker getting his textbooks, then he, along with three other students, goes to class; the double doors at the far end swing open, revealing a silhouette of Dexter; it then cuts to Dexter's body; he walks past a girl who drops her pencil case and screams)
- (A view from behind Dexter is shown; several students stand with their backs to their lockers looking on in fear and bewilderment; Dexter's silhouette is then shown on a wall, passing by more students standing away from him and a baby that cries; he stops at a door with "SCHOOL PICTURES HERE" on it; Dee Dee opens the door)
- Dee Dee: Well, once again, I look fa--
- (She opens her eyes and starts screaming; it then shows Dexter having the face of a studly young man)
- Dexter: Hey, Toots.
- Dee Dee: Dex, is that you?
- (She moves her index finger down and touches Dexter's nose, which bounces in place; Dexter hides it)
- Dexter: Never touch my face It is fragile and beautiful. (he walks off to the left, with Dee Dee looking at him) So, out of my way, ugly commoner. Excuse me while I immortalize my visage.
- (The door closes; inside, a stool is seen in front of a backdrop of a park on a sunny day; Dexter walks in from the left and sits on the stool)
- Dexter: I am ready for my closeup, Miss Liebowitz.
- (Miss Liebowitz, shown as a young blonde haired woman with glasses, a pencil in her hair, a white blouse and a red skirt held up by a belt with a golden buckle, standing next to a camera while holding a stick with a button)
- Dexter: Yes, yes. I am handsome, I know... Which reminds me: are you sure you have the right equipment to capture my visage?
- (Miss Liebowitz is shown again, continuing to look at Dexter)
- Dexter: Hmm...
- (He jumps off the stool and walks over to the briefcase; he pulls out two large flashbulb lights and two reflection cards)
- Dexter: I thought that maybe we could use a few lights and some reflection cards to accentuate my face.
- (He looks at her angrily; outside the room, the door flies open, with Dexter kicking Ms. Liebowitz out)
- Dexter: Get out of here, you hag!
- (He slams the door shut; back inside, several lights are pointing at Dexter)
- Dexter: At last, lighting perfection. Now to immortalize my face. With the push of this button, (his face starts to melt) the world will soon see how handsome I am.
- (Pan up to the lights; with a flash, it cuts back to Dexter family home; Dee Dee runs in holding up a yellow envelope)
- Dee Dee: They're here! They're here!
- Dad: What's here?
- Mom: What's here?
- Dee Dee: School photos!
- (A picture of Dee Dee flashing a grin, one even wider than the last few photos, is shown)
- Dad: Wow. Now, that's one for the book. Now let's see Dexter's.
- Mom: Okay.
- (She moves Dee Dee's photo to reveal Dexter's photo, his face melted)
- Mom: Dexter, you closed your eyes!
- Dad: Come on, honey, it's not that bad.
- Dexter: It's okay, Dad. I know it's not good. I was trying to be someone I'm not. But now I know that if you just be yourself, everything will be a-OK.
- Dee Dee: Not if you want to be popular.
- (Iris close out on Dexter, who looks on surprised)